Suffering withdrawal symptoms…

I haven’t had a chance to dress for about 6 months now – and it is starting to tell. I think my sore throat is indicative of me suppressing my feminine voice. My last post was about having my ears pierced – which is my one lifeline to my feminine side. At least I can touch them and feel a bit girly. I need to do something about this….
My elderly parents are needing a lot of support at the moment and I am feeling the need to escape into my feminine persona and set myself free.
Christine xx

4 thoughts on “Suffering withdrawal symptoms…

  1. I know exactly how you feel. My own lifeline to being Jenny has been taking a course of phyto-estrogen tablets for the last few months. Being at a post-menopausal age, it also feels appropriate.

    I too have a sore throat but partly because I practice my female voice whenever I’m alone!

    My early experiences match yours very closely. Being completely open with my (second) wife didn’t work for me. Although she encouraged me in many ways, my cross dressing was always blamed for pretty much anything which went wrong in our relationship and I began to feel more and more that I wasn’t fulfilling my side of the marital bargain properly. Spending a small fortune with a therapist didn’t help at all. He tried to make me see that part of my psyche was that of a guilt ridden child (sorry, can’t remember the correct terminology) and that I should be happy with myself. Instead I opted for a total purge and now I really enjoy having a secret, well fitting capsule wardrobe, a completely new look and the ability to mostly pass in public on those few occasions each year when I’m able to.

    I very much enjoy reading your blog which I only discovered this week.

    Best of luck,

    Jenny

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    • Hi Jenny,

      Thanks for the comments – it’s always intereting to hear other peole’s stories. As a therapist myself I’d be interested to hear a bit more about what you mean by “He tried to make me see that part of my psyche was that of a guilt ridden child (sorry, can’t remember the correct terminology) and that I should be happy with myself.”

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      • Hi Christine,

         

        Thanks for your reply.

         

        I don't remember the details now but I've found some notes which my therapist made for me. It was Transactional Analysis. Unfortunately I can't read most of what he wrote! I started therapy sessions because my marriage was suffering and my "dressing up" was clearly the underlying problem. On the face of it, my wife wanted me to be completely open about it to her – to the extent that she sometimes bought me clothes which she thought would suit. At the same time, she became more and more jealous of my female persona. If I was left alone even for five minutes, she would interogate me about what I'd been doing and what I'd been thinking about. There was also a problem with the sexual/gender relationship. My wife hoped for a "kinky" sexual encounter but when presenting as Jenny I found it difficult to react that way.

         

        There came the point where I undertook therapy, hoping that I would be able to cope with all of this but after ten sessions or so, when my therapist had decided that I'd been shown what I needed to do and therefore I no longer needed his help, I came to the conclusion that my wife needed therapy at least as much as I did and the simplest way to stabilise the marriage was to have a complete purge.

         

        That was easier to do than you might think because I'd reached an age (and also a stage) where it was becoming more and more difficult to look in the mirror and be pleased with what I saw. I didn't want to look like an "old tranny" nor did I want to look like some of the older women that have "gone to seed" Apologies if that's a nasty thing to say but I'm sure you know what I mean. My wife knew that I was having these difficulties but didn't really believe me.

         

        About three or four years ago, I went through yet another mid-life crisis and needed to take my mind of other (emotional) things and so I secretly started dressing again. I only have a very few opportunites each year, for maybe a week at a time but I've put a lot of work into researching how to get around the aging problem and I'm much happier as Jenny now than I've ever been before. I've achieved this with the help of Femesque for a new hair style and makeup, an excellent website for women of my age https://www.lookfabulousforever.com/uk/blog (especially the street style galleries in her blog and some styling and makeup videos), the Christella voice app and finally, the John Lewis Personal Style Edit on their website.

         

        If you would like to ask me anything as a therapist or as another TG woman (I prefer that to Tranny or Cross Dresser) please feel free.

         

        Best wishes

         

        Jenny 

        Sent: Friday, September 07, 2018 at 2:16 PM

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      • Hi Jenny, Thanks for sharing your story. I think it’s a shame that your therapist wasn’t more helpful. I guess it’s the same with anything – some are better than others, particularly ith an issue such as this which is difficult enough for us to understand let alone someone who has no presonal experience. Also I find the therapy literatue lacking in anything that really hits the mark.

        I wish you all the best with your ongoing journey and find a suitable outlet for your fem side.

        Christine

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